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(not the name of my guitar)"

What was the name of your first love?

I can still remember mine. 

She was blonde, beautiful, and loved to bake.


It's been ten years since the break-up, but I can still feel the sting.

Her parting words were "at least now you can write some good songs..."

Spoken like a true Swiftie.

I never wrote about her. 

Probably because it took me so long to accept that it was over.

Not ten years, but maybe a couple if I'm honest...

But now I'm finally sharing my love stories.

Or should I say, my "lack-of-love" stories?


Songs I Never Wrote


How It Started

Prompt 1A:

Write a song about someone in your past, someone you haven't seen in years perhaps, who at one time had a huge effect or influence on you for either good or bad. 

This was the prompt for my very first homework assignment in songwriting class last year. I already wanted to take a look back at love in my music, and this was the perfect opportunity. When I sat down on my bed with my guitar all 5 verses for "Taylor" came right out.

Below is the demo that I turned in. I hadn't recorded the guitar solo yet, but the song was written. I actually ended up using this demo vocal in the final version because the original raw expression was too special.

00:00 / 03:25


first LIVE performance
& the typical crowd response...

Taylor's not the name of my guitar

She's a girl that came and stole my heart

And she's never quite returned it in the years we've been apart

Loving anybody else has been so hard

No, Taylor's not the name of my guitar

My first kiss was on her parents' couch

Pretty soon all that we'd do was just make out

We'd watch the sun come up and then go sneaking through the house

I'd drive away before her dad came down

I'd drive away the coolest kid in town


I can picture her with long and flowing hair

A flawless, Swedish blonde, she was the fairest of the fair

She could really be a weirdo, but so could I - we didn't care

With her there was just something in the air 

We had ourselves the perfect love affair


Why it had to end, I have no clue

She dumped me in her backyard, by the pool

I never got a reason, at least not one I felt was true

But one month later, she was dating my friend, Drew

I remember thinking that was so uncool

Taylor's not the name of my guitar

It feels less like a name and more of a scar

I've never quite recovered in the years we've been apart

If she ever shared her name with my guitar

That would mean I could hold Taylor all I want

But Taylor's still a name that breaks my heart


with "Drew" and my sister, Kayt,
in NYC 2021

The Aftermath

My friendship with "Drew" could have ended there...

But I don't believe in cancelling people or holding grudges.

He and "Taylor" only went on one date before calling it quits.

"Drew" is still one of my very best friends.

He's one of the most encouraging and funny guys I know and I'm so grateful to have him in my life.

I lost touch with "Taylor," but that's to be expected with exes.

I do know that she moved across the country and has her own family now.

I'm happy for her and wish her all the best.

And don't you worry about me! 

I may be single at the moment, but it's not because I never moved on.

I wanted to tell this story for anyone else who found themselves on the losing end of love... and lost badly. This is only the beginning of the story, though, so

be sure to follow along so you can hear the next chapter!

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